Acceptance

Today is a great day. It is Thanksgiving. They do not celebrate it here, but that does not matter. I still reflect today on everything for which I am thankful. At the top of the list, as always, is my family and my friends. You have all been very supportive and positive while I have been away and I'm so grateful. I'm healthy, and I'm happy. And what's more, I have had a great time in Costa Rica and learned so much. As I was walking home from class tonight I let myself get lost in thought (something I generally avoid since you should always be aware while walking by yourself in San Jose). I cannot explain the serene feeling that came over me as I thought about my life at this moment. I no longer expect anything to go as planned. Nothing you think will happen in Costa Rica happens, and everything you don't expect does. I have learned more than ever to go with the flow. Things will get accomplished, and in the end it will work out; the path will just be different than you plan. So I have stopped planning. I don't mean all types of planning. It is still necessary to have a general idea of what you are going to try to do that day. But as far as details go? Forget about it. You may as well enjoy the ride, because there is no avoiding it. If you ask directions to one place from five different people on the street, you will get five different answers. So you either pick the one that sounds most promising, or you try to create a frankenstein compilation of their answers, and start walking. If you get lost, you will always be able to find your way home eventually. Just like life: If you get lost, you will always find your way back. So pick a direction and start walking. Nothing says you have to stay on the same path. I no longer expect teachers to stick to what they say, for a class to follow the syllabus, or for planned events to have any sort of structure. And you know what? Despite all my fretting over such disorganization...I'm still happy, I'm still alive, I'm still excelling, I'm still learning, and I'm still sane. I lost my ipod over a month ago. I was convinced at that time that I could NOT live without my music in a foreign country where so many things stressed me out and where familar music was a huge comfort. Well I'm still living. It hardly even registers that I don't have an ipod anymore. And a cell phone? Forget about it. I don't need it. I haven't missed it once. Sure it would make meeting up with friends a heck of a lot easier, but it doesn't keep us from meeting up. Sometimes we miss each other, sometimes plans have to be changed on the fly, sometimes people get left behind, and sometimes people get lost. But we all find our way home, and the next day at school we laugh together about what an adventure yesterday was. Therefore, I no longer have expectations about my life. It is oddly liberating. I have still have hopes and dreams, of course. I hope to be happy and healthy and make a difference in the world. I hope to have a family of my own someday, and I hope to have a good job. But I don't need any of these things just like I don't need my music. Life is a constant adjustment. Plans can change in an instant and you have no control over that most of the time. So instead of perfecting my planning skills, I like the idea of these new coping skills I have started developing. And of course, coping does not simply entail the ability to accept whatever hand life deals you, but also the ability to problem solve as an attempt to still acheive your goal. I don't know what life holds for me. I actually haven't the slightest inkling. I have a great family, great friends, and an amazing guy in my life. I hope I can further my formal education, but I know that I will always be learning for as long as I live. I have no idea what the future will bring. But I know how my present stands. I am stronger than I was when I got here, physically and mentally. I am more at peace with myself. And I am more in love than I have ever been before. At the risk of contradicting everything I just said, I am going to marry him and we are going to brave life together. I don't care what life throws at us, I don't care if we are absolutely poor for years... I know everything will work out in the end. Like my Ma always says, make plans and God laughs (make plans in Costa Rica and God rolls). Love, Meg

Rafting, Zipline, Panama

Arg! It seems like more and more things happen everyday that I have to tell you about, but there just isn't enough time! And I don't feel like I'm doing my stories justice because I'm really impatient when it comes to journaling. But I'll give it another futile attempt :-)

I told you I went last week to see the movie Gestacion. It was AWESOME. It's only the second movie ever filmed in Costa Rica! And it was filmed right here in San Jose! The opening scene was Mall San Pedro where we always used to go to watch movies! That was weird to see. Lol. The whole thing was in spanish (obviously), but we understood most of it! Funny little side note tho: while we were waiting for the movie to start a lady came and sat in the chair right next to me. The theater was virtually empty, but she sat RIGHT next to me! lol. So different from in the U.S. At home if a theater is pretty much empty, you only go sit right next to a stranger if you want to mess with them. lol

Last weekend, as I mentioned, was zip lining and rafting. Zip lining was pretty dang fun. 12 cables, one over 600 meters long and 65mph! Flying through the treetops of the rainforest over a river...pretty awesome. And it was raining so we went even faster! It was a little chilly and wet, but I love that weather! Lisa took us to the place in her car too since there were only three of us so that was nice. The rest of the group had gone earlier in the month, but Collen and I elected to wait to go later with Sybil since she had a broken leg at the time. It was really really fun. Then the next day we went rafting!!! Now THAT was quite possibly the most fun thing I have experienced since I have been here. I really really don't think I can explain how beautiful and peaceful it was. The river we went on is one of the best for rafting in the world. It had class three and four rapids. The class four were most fun. And actually....I fell out in a class four. Lol. It was actually pretty cool. Our raft hit a rock that no one saw cuz it was under the water, and our raft jolted to a stop and everyone on my side fell out. Lol. So I body surfed a rapid. Got quite a few bruises on my legs from that and swallowed A LOT of water. The kyak came and picked me up, then transferred me to a raft that was passing thru from another company, and then THEY transferred me back to my raft finally. Cool stuff dude. And the scenery was just AMAZING. Serioulsy breathtaking. Stuff out of movies. Drifting through the rainforest in a valley, waterfalls careening down the sides all around us, birds, vines hanging, beautiful mist everwhere. Oh and sweet food! We stopped on the bank of the river to have lunch. Yummy! I can't wait to go rafting again sometime. Hopefully in another new country!

This most recent weekend, the group (around 25 ppl) went to Panama to a group of islands called Bocas del Toro. Now this place is what you think of when you think of paradise. Blue water, beautiful skies, mountains in the background misted over, starfish, colorful fish, palm trees, huts and hostels built ON the water, a pool that is really the ocean, a water trampoline, hammocks by the water and above the water, free coffee ALL day, and J this one is for you....banana pancakes on a lazy, rainy, sunday morning. I miss you. Cant wait to come home and make some banana pancakes with you EVERY sunday morning. ANYWAY...I also got introduced to a new game this past weekend! MAFIA! Its SOOO fun. Lol.

So some cool things bout Panama: Dani got stung by a jellyfish (a small one dont worry) but I saw it happen which was neat, four of us saw a whale while taking a wild crazy six hour deserted muddy road/amazing beach hike, and U.S. money is WEIRD! See, Panama's currency is US dollars. When we all first bought something and got coin back, we literally all flipped out. We refused to believe that they were real coins! They are so small and light! I remember when a quarter used to be big to me! Now it is itty bitty. But thats because colones (Costa Rica currency) is so much bigger and heavier than our coins.

Well Colleen and I are watching Die Hard (score!), so I'll write yall later. Love, love, love
-Meg

My Day Today

This will be about more than my day, but I'm going to start with that.

Today was a rollercoaster of emotions. Not extreme emotions. Just moods and thoughts that came and went. Some things awed me, some disgusted me, some made me feel blessed...

My day started out with me getting up extra early to finish a presentation I had to give this morning in my spanish class. My presentation went well as did class, seeing as how I did not fall asleep like I usually do. Then I had human rights class this afternoon. And once again, I was severly annoyed. But I tend to get over that rather quickly. It had to do with class conflicting with a soccer game we are going to watch next Wednesday....long and short of it is this: I'm in Costa Rica and have the chance to go to a soccer game for free and experience that part of the culture. He doesn't even think it's an option to skip class to go, even though I'm allowed two absences and have had none so far. To him it's a no brainer....as it is for me as well. Class or futbol?? Ya, you're right....definitely futbol.

After class I walked to an ATM with Sarah that was SUPPOSE to offer US dollars because we need them for Panama this weekend. Well the ATM decided it didnt WANT to give us dollars. This actually didnt phase me at all. I no longer expected anything to work or to go as planned in Costa Rica. Pura Vida. What DID phase me was what happened when I was walking to the gym after that. As I walked towards the corner where a large white SUV was stopped at a stop sign waiting to turn, I heard a very clear cat call whistle. Being immune to this by now, I kept walking and didn't even look up....until the car turned and came more towards me and I heard the whistle again. I looked up and saw a boy who couldn't have been more than twelve, riding in the backseat next to what was probably his little sister. He had rolled the window down and was looking right at me. He then proceeded to yell "how you doin fine bi***?!" I think my jaw hit the floor. I could only shake my head and keep walking. As I was walking, feeling sad for the boy that he had learned such behavior, something seemingly insignificant happened: a flock of parrots flew over my head and I ACTUALLY noticed. I had heard the girls talking bout the little bright green parrots they had seen in the city, but I had NEVER seen them before. But just when I needed something to smile about and snap me out of my sad pensive trance, they appeared! I know it seems silly, but for me, it made me realize that i am IN COSTA RICA. I'm so blessed and so lucky to be here. There are parrots (actually parakeets, I was just informed by my roomie) flying over my head and beautiful, smoke kissed mountains in whatever direction I turn. And the sky was as blue as I had seen in San Jose thus far. Perfect wispy white clouds....a sky I never would have seen had those birds not squawked and made me look up. And it was like a chain reaction. Once I noticed the birds I began noticing EVERYTHING. Mostly cool plants. In the states, the typical garden filler green plants tend to bore me. What's so exciting about one colore? But here, I'm not even sure if a monotone plant exists! Every ordinary looking green plant has a hidden surprise. Look closely and you will see veins of read, orange, or yellow running through. Or flip the leaf over and it will be bright purple! You never know.

I finally made it to the gym. Good workout. My arms feel like jello because I did arm circuit training with Ray and Brittany. They are nuts. We did tons of pull ups and pushups. OUCH.

Came home, ate, and then hopped in the shower. I turned on the water, closed my eyes tight, held my breath, and jumped under the freezing cold water. I almost cried with joy when I realized the water was NOT freezing cold, but in fact was rather hot!!! I couldnt believe my sensory nerves! The shower had been fixed!!! Halelujah!!! There are still some streams of freezing cold that populate the mass of hot water, but I'm alright with that!

Now I'm drinking some cafe, talking to Katy on skype (sort of...I should probably respond to her now...hold on), and thinking bout working on homework. I can't explain how I feel right now. Sore from the gym, mentally tired from homework, nutritionally satisfied, excited for panama, stressed about school, worried about the people I love, homesick, and somehow more sure of who I am than I have been in years. Strange.

And I lied. This is not going to be more than about my day. Initially, I set out to write about my amazing rafting and ziplining trip this past weekend as well...but I have realized I don't feel like descriptively writing anymore and that trip deserves some decent description. I love you all

Christmas Anyone???

Ya that's right, you read correctly: Christmas is here. I came home from the gym today and there was a Christmas reef lit up on the front door. SO WEIRD! Don't they know we haven't even had Thanksgiving yet??? Oh wait...that's right...no, they don't, because they don't celebrate Thanksgiving here! Makes sense I suppose...that whole pilgrims and indians thing didn't really happen here in Central America. On a different note...I'm running out of money! Quickly! lol. I just need to make it 4 more weeks! But with a trip every weekend, It's going to be tight. And may I just say budgeting is NOT fun while you are in a foreign country and trying to do as many things as possible while you're there!!! Therefore, I'm pretending I have more money than I actually do. I mean hey, that's what credit cards and overdraft protection are for right??! (I have a feeling my Ma and Gma are grimacing right now. :-) And on the note of spending money, I'm going to Panama this weekend! To Bocas del Toro, a series of Islands that is suppose to be like paradise. Surprisingly, it's only costing me around120 for three nights. Not bad. Then the next weekend is Nicaragua! I'm gonna have three countries under my belt after this semester! Awesome. And then I only have two weekends left. Maybe I'll use one to go back to Jaco and surf again! That was so fun last time. Hopefully our last weekend here all the girls that were here with me the first month are going to do a last trip sort of thing. Not sure where to yet.
Alright, well I have to go work on homework. I have a ton. As usual. Love you all!

Random Thoughts

Sup yall. So I have a lot of time to think here, and these are just some of the things that tend to pass through my head:

Why, please tell me WHY, in a country where it rains SOOOO much, do they put tile that becomes dangerously slippery when wet ALL OVER THE CITY?! I mean really?! Does the city get pleasure out of being constantly sued?! Actually, come to think of it, I bet the city of San Jose isn't even held responsible for stuff like that. There are random pot holes in the sidewalks every other step, various dangerous items strewn around the city like broken computers and downed trees, random holes in the street, jagged metal pole stubs....etc. Basically, when you walk around here, you must stare down at the ground directly in front of you to avoid killing yourself. Oh and how could I forget the perpetually slimy, slippery, sidewalks due to the mildew/algae stuff growing everywhere. I suppose this is understandable considering it's wet quite often here.

Why does EVERY single male you pass on the street or that drives past in a car (taxi drivers included) feel the need to say SOMETHING to every girl they see? I mean, I understand that it is acceptable here and all the ticas are used to it. So technically I shouldnt be complaining about it. And for the first month I think I handled it rather well. But now it's just utterly annoying. I AM NOT a piece of meat. I am a person, with a mind and a personality IN ADDITION to my physical appearance. Oh gosh...they have me sounding like a hard core feminist now! I think I have just reached my quota of "oh baby"s and "mamacita"s. I mean, I'm all for people being friendly with each other and saying hello on the street and such, but saying something that is equivalent to "you're hot and I want to bang you"...not so cool.

Every country has their "Mexicans". What I mean by this is that in the States, we have a large population of Mexicans (and others) that enter the country illegally and provide cheap labor. They do the jobs that US citizens dont want to do. I can't imagine how quick our economly would collapse if the undocumented migrants ( i would say illegals, but my human rights teacher hates that term and gets on us if we say it) were deported. Last week, I visited a coffee plantation and I learned that Nicaraguans are the "Mexicans" of Costa Rica. I had already had my suspicions of this since every single maid here seems to be Nicaraguan, and many Ticos have quite a bit of prejudice towards Nicaraguans. But at the coffee plantation, my inklings were confirmed. Nicaraguans constitute nearly the entire coffee picking labor force. And let me tell you, picking coffee is NOT easy. They work sun up to sun down in the blazing sun, filling huge baskets with coffee seeds. The baskets weigh 30 lbs when full and they get to lug this around with them. A really GOOD picker can pick up to 25 baskets a day. At the end of the day, they get paid 800 colones for each basket. That's about $1.50. So on average, they make $30 a day. How do you live off that? Although I do have to admit that the coffee plantation provides the workers with housing and electriciy and water. But who knows of what quality? Anyway...I just thought i would share.

How does a country with such an amazing reputation for environmental conservation have such a dirty capital city?! There is trash EVERYWHERE! And don't even get me started on the air pollution. Even though the emissions testing in the States screwed me over this past yr, I could not be MORE grateful that we have it than I am after being here in San Jose for 3 months. I think I might have smoker's lungs by the time I get home. And where are all the recycling containers? Shouldn't that be a priority here?

And last, but so, so not least, the internet. I understand that I am not in the US. I understand that internet is not always reliable. However, that does not change the fact that my internet crapping out on me constantly grates on my nerves. It makes it rather difficult to do homework considering all my classes are research oriented or require power point presentations with pictures and info from the internet. It also makes it quite difficult to keep in touch with people back home. For instance, I had attempted emailing J's dad about FOUR times before i actually got a message to go through. Thus, it took me a month to actually get my message out since every time one failed, I was too frustrated to try again right away. And facebook hates me. But I knew that already.

Do my teachers not understand the concept of organization? You know, the idea of handing out a syllabus or at least giving students a heads up on when exams will be? Or even just giving exams at all? I really have no idea how I'm doing in ANY of my classes right now because I have gotten NO feedback on any of the work I have done. We all know how much I LOVE to be completely clueless...especially about something as unimportant as my grades. I swear all we do in class is sit and talk about disjointed topics, random tangents, and irrelevant information....but then surprise! We have a test over all this random, unrelated info in a few days, oh and dont forget the five papers you have to write as well. Ok cool. Great. I suppose it is just obvious to them that I came to Costa Rica to do homework 24/7. That makes sense. Why would I come to travel and experience another culture? That would just be silly.

Ok I think I'm done sharing my thoughts with you for now. Not exactly because i WANT to be, but because I have homework to attend to. And then I'm going to see a spanish movie later! Gestacion. It was actually made in Costa Rica! Love you all.

My Host Family

So I realized I havent introduced you guys to my host family and I have been living with them now for a month! First I'll explain the dynamics. There is a Mom named Sonia and I'm not sure how old she is, but if I had to guess I would say 50 something. Then there is Aldo, the son. He is 26 and is a lawyer. The daughter's name is Laura. She is 24 I think and is an architect. The last person that actually lives in the house with us is Rosa. She is the maid from Nicaragua. She can't read or write, and her children still live in Nicaragua with her mom so she hardly ever gets to see them. It's sad. At first I didnt know how I felt about her because when I tried to talk to her, she seemed a little rude. But that was before I knew anything about her. It's amazing how learning about someone's life can change your perspective of them. She must be so sad and uncomfortable all the time. She has only been living here for about 7 months, so she may not be used to everything in Costa Rica yet. I know I'm sure not. The other day for the first time, she came into my room and had a conversation with me! She asked who were all the people in my pictures that I put up in my room so I got to tell her bout everyone! She told me J was really handsome and that Jimmy and Jack were super cute! So true. Lol. I like Rosa. It's still uncomfortable for me to have a maid. I don't like it at all because I just feel bad when I come into my room and stuff is straightened up. Plus I know where everything is in my slight disorder...but then she moves it. Lol. Oh well. I'm just happy to have met her.

Ok so back to the rest of the family. There is a dad. His name is Mario and he is Italian. But he and Sonia are separated. He visits for dinner every wednesday and friday night. Its a little strange that he still comes over to me, but I guess if they are happy like that then rock on. I don't really talk to Mario much. As for Sonia...sometimes I think she is ok and sometimes I just flat out don't like her. She can be mean and rude in my opinion. She is very moody. And at first we didnt get much food, but now its better cause we had our program say something to her. Mostly i'm disappointed because I expected to be more intergrated into the family. If my family hosted a student, we would include them in our lives. But for Sonia, it seems like its all about the money. We pay quite a bit of money to live here and she can make decent money off us, especially if she skimps on food. She has been hosting students for 15 yrs though, so they may have something to do with it. I just feel like we are a hassle for her and we are just something to be put up with so she can get her money. But oh well. I'm making the best of it. I was considering moving out because my roommate was going to. We were going to move in with a different family and hope it was better. I decided over this past weekend that I wasnt going to move though because I love my tico brothers (yes i know i only told u bout one...i'm getting to that). And then when I got home yesterday, my roommate had changed her mind bout moving. So we are both staying. Its only 7 more weeks.

Aldo is my ACTUAL tico brother cuz he lives here, but Alberto practically lives here. Lol. He is here like four times a week to watch some sort of game on the big tv. He is Aldo's best friend. They joke with me alot and I love it. It reminds me of my family back home, especially chris since he always messes with me. I give it to them right back though! I feel like I have the best bond with them outta of the girls that live here with me (there are three other gringas) because I'm always down there watching the games with them: football, soccer, baseball, whatever. And alot of times Aldo has other friends over like Jonathan, Diego, Cucho, Rashid, Juan Carlos, and Jose. They are pretty cool. They dont seem to mind me hanging around them. It just makes me feel more at home. And of course they give me grief for being from st. Louis and having the Rams as my football team. How embarrassing. Lol.

Laura actually isnt here that much so I really never talk to her. Mostly what keeps me from talking more is the hassle of being misunderstood. But i'm slowing getting over that. I actually talked to Laura last night bout how badly burned my face was. Ya...its bad. I didnt wear sunscreen this past weekend and normally that wouldnt be a problem, but I didnt realize I was surfing for 3 straight hrs and so the sun was reflecting off the water right onto my face! Ouch. One more member of the family to comment on....Isaac....the ugly poodle. Gosh I hate small dogs. He is so annoying too! Always whining and pooping and peeing ALL over the house. It's really gross. I have stepped in pee quite a few times...and u all know how often I walk around barefoot. Ya...ick.

Speaking of ick, the house has a spider and cockroach problem in addition to those tasty little ants I already told u about. I killed two spiders on the wall by my head last night as i was laying down to go to sleep. Awesome.

And did I mention the left side of my bed is permanently sunk in? Lol. Its an old memory foam type mattress and I think it has lost its will to return to it's original shape. When I lay down I automatically roll left. Lol.

There is also a weird, old, pagan, renainssance looking painting hanging in my room. The colors are pastel and faded, and it's framed in a cheap metal that looks spray painted gold. Definitely not my taste. And its always crooked! Drives me nuts. The rest of the room is very old fashioned. Think country home-ish. Robin egg blue walls, wallpaper, old wooden desk, heavy dark curtains, etc.

I never did tell you guys bout Isla Tortuga!!! We went a few weekends ago and it was really fun. It took awhile to get there and we only got to stay on the beach for four hours, but the trip there involved a nice boat so that was cool. On the island we played sand volleyball, which I rocked at! I showed up almost all of the other girls and a majority of the boys too! It was fun....wow I'm competetive. Lol. I ate ceviche which is barely cooked cut up fish soup. It was really good. I kayaked with Dani out to a big rock in the OCEAN!!! and I rode on a banana boat which is really just a big inflated tube that you straddle with like 5 other ppl and they pull you around behind a boat and flip you off a few times. It made me miss going to the lake every summer.

Well I'm gonna take a break for now. I feel like this post is long enough. But I might write later tonight to tell you bout this past weekend in Jaco for Halloween! It was crazy. Good times. Love you all!

-Meg